In an effort show that they can be every bit as wacky as those pesky Christians, it seems the Jews have offered up an alternative theory behind the Haitian earthquakes, as well as a way to prevent future natural disasters:
“Thirteen months before 9/11, on the day New York City passed homosexual domestic partnership regulations, I joined a group of Rabbis at a City Hall prayer service, pleading with G-d not to visit disaster on the city of N.Y. We have seen the underground earthquake, tsunami, Katrina, and now Haiti. All this is in sync with a two thousand year old teaching in the Talmud that the practice of homosexuality is a spiritual cause of earthquakes. Once a disaster is unleashed, innocents are also victims just like in Chernobyl.
“We plead with saner heads in Congress and the Pentagon to stop sodomization of our military and our society. Enough is enough.”
Wow. Just, wow. (Now I’m all verklempt.)
Umm, Jews… thanks for Matisyahu, Hebrew National beef franks, and the cast of Seinfeld and all. But in the future, keep your unfounded, irrational, crackpot theories to yourselves. Sound good?