Black Jeezus’ News Quickies

A new segment here on News Quickies. Get ready for a bukakke of current events…

* * *

Turns out Ergun Caner, Liberty University’s seminary president, may not have been entirely truthful about the details of his “Muslim upbringing” in “Turkey,” and his “jihadist past” and “expertise in Islam.” But I guess it’s okay to lie if you’re doing it for Jesus, right?

Just ask Mike Warnke.

* * *

Think. What’s the worst possible thing you could be caught doing when someone says “I’m against this bill, because it disrespects too many women in the state of Florida”?

* * *

Let’s say you’re at work (you happen to be a government employee), and a customer spits on you. What would be the appropriate amount of time off you’d need to “recover” from the incident?

Well if you’re the average New York City bus driver, you’d “need” about 64 days.

I’m no labor market expert or anything, but I think that’s a little excessive. Especially when taxpayer dollars are paying for those days off.

* * *

Martin Gardner, mathematics/science writer and one of the founders of the skeptical movement, died last Friday at the age of 95. I very much enjoyed reading his writings and math puzzles, and highly recommend that you pick up a copy of Aha! Gotcha posthaste.

Since I think there’s nothing more appropriate than reading thoughts on death from someone who’s just recently died:

“It does not fortify my soul in the least to know that after I die all unmarried men will still be bachelors, that 37 will still be a prime number, that the stars will continue to shine, and that forever I will have been just what I am now. Away with these fake immortalities! They mean nothing to the heart.”

True dat, Marty. You will be missed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s