CSPI Says: Happy Meals = Child Molestation

Here’s some fortune-cookie wisdom for you.

Parents: having kids does not give you an excuse to be an asshole and expect everyone else to do your parenting for you.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest (see.. not every organization with “science” in its title has common sense) is actually threatening to sue McDonald’s if they don’t remove the Happy Meal from their menus.

And check out this totally reasonable and level-headed comparison:

“McDonald’s is the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children,” CSPI’s litigation director, Stephen Gardner, said in a prepared statement. “It’s a creepy and predatory practice that warrants an injunction.”

Since when is a company selling greasy food and toys on par with the dude in the unmarked white van asking kids if they like ice cream? Or the Catholic Church. That’s pretty tasteless, Steve.

You people better have something intelligent to add to this dialog, if you really wish to be taken seriously by people like me who are actually in favor of “science in the public interest.”

CSPI director Michael Jacobson acknowledged that parents bear much of the responsibility for children’s eating habit — a criticism industry defenders often levy.

“But multi-billion-dollar corporations make parents’ job nearly impossible by giving away toys and bombarding kids with slick advertising,” he said.


“Impossible”? Someone needs to explain to me exactly how it’s “impossible” for the parent, who makes the money and thus controls what it is spent on, to refuse to buy a Happy Meal for their kid.

I really could care less how much your kid whines and screams and kicks. Saying “no” is part of the fucking job, last I heard.

McDonald’s is simply meeting a demand, not forcing anyone to do anything. And if you really think fast food is what’s turning America’s kids into miniature Boss Hogs, then there’s a very simple solution to that: don’t buy your kid fast food, numb nuts. “Not doing X” is much simpler than “forcing someone else to remove X as an option.”

I move that the word “science” be hereby removed from CSPI’s name and replaced with “unsubstantiated bullshit.” Immediately.

2 thoughts on “CSPI Says: Happy Meals = Child Molestation

  1. Pingback: Black Jeezus News Quickies, guest-starring Batman (or is it Spiderman?) « Black Jesus

  2. Pingback: Black Jeezus News Quickies, guest-starring Batman (or is it Spiderman?) | Secular News Daily

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