Black Jeezus News Quickies (now with 10% more Prince)

Katherine Mangu-Ward (of Reason magazine fame) tells of a new Wyoming policy that relaxes regulations pertaining to the sale of “non-hazardous foods” like homemade pickles, hot sausage, and pot brownies (provided the seller makes less than $5000 a year).

Some morons object to the new policy (pretty much along the lines that the government should regulate almost every single part of our lives that could be potentially harmful), to which Mangu-Ward gives the best response ever:

In every state, people are free to feed others in their filthy, unregulated homes, it’s only when money changes hands that home cooks transform into a public health hazard.

Preach.

* * *

And with one confused, misguided and ill-informed example of Godwin’s law too many, I’m officially done with the Huffington Post. They’ve been on my shit list for a while already, but this one puts them over the top.

So long, knee-jerk-liberal pseudo-science-embracing peddlers of woo. I’ll miss you. (Not really)

* * *

It’s not very accurate. But it’s still so wrong. So very, very wrong.

* * *

Hawai’i’s governor (ever try to type the possessive form of Hawai’i?), in a major show of unbridled bigotry and general douchebaggery, has vetoed a bill that would legalize same-sex civil unions in the state.

Not marriages. Civil unions.

Apparently, the difference in time zones means that while it’s 6:00 here, it’s the year 1903 over there.

* * *

Guess what. Public stonings still happen.

I shit on Islam.

* * *

John Loftus, of Debunking Christianity, brings us a brilliant post explaining what must be the case if Christianity is true. Among Black Jeezus’ personal favorites:

3) There must exist a perfectly good, omnipotent God, who created a perfectly good universe out of a desire/need to glorify himself by rewarding in heaven the few human beings who just got lucky to believe by being born at the right time and place, and who will condemn to hell those who do not believe.

6) That although there are many other similar mythological stories told in Ancient Near Eastern Literature that pre-date what we read in the Bible, the stories in the Bible are about real events and real people.

9) That although a great number of miracles were claimed to have happened in the different superstitious cultures of the ancient world, only the ones in the Bible actually happened as claimed.

11) That God created human beings with rational minds that require evidence before they accept something, and yet this same God does not provide enough evidence but asks them to have faith instead.

14) That although there were many false virgin birth claims about famous people (like Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Plato) mythical heroes (like Mithra, Hercules) and savior gods (like Krishna, Osiris, Dionysus) in the ancient world, Jesus was really born of a virgin.

* * *

Justin Bieber will tour North Korea, thanks to 4chan.

Here’s a tip: if you’re a Canadian teen heartthrob that puts out shitty, manufactured pop music, and you one day decide to let the general public vote on where to send you on your next world tour… use radio buttons. And maybe filter out visitors coming from 4chan.

* * *

According to the artist formerly known as Prince but now known as a pretentious androgynous symbol, this whole “internet fad” is so over.

The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it. The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.

Does anyone else find that Prince talking about something being “outdated” spikes their irony meter to unprecedented levels?

That damn Prince. He’s always in my hair. (Aside: if you got that reference, you win)

Aaaaand here’s a gratuitous Prince video…

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