You know that phenomenon where you can go your entire life never meeting anyone named Stewart, until suddenly you meet three different Stewarts in the course of a single month? That’s the deal with this new “argument” for Christianity. I’ve never heard it before, and all of a sudden I see three separate references to it within a week. So either it’s a new argument, or someone is fucking with me.
I’m officially calling it “The Argument from Shit that Looks Jesus-ey.”
The most common instance of it is in this YouTube video, where it’s used by some preacher named Louie Giglio, who I’m guessing wasn’t a microbiology major.
It’s an eight-minute video, so let me sum it up for you. Laminins are glycoproteins that play an important part in the structural makeup of nearly every tissue in living organisms (including humans). They’re crucial for the survival of living tissue and the regeneration of new tissue, as with muscles or the liver.
So what’s the catch? Well, Christians seem to think they look like this:
Heyyy… wait a minute. That looks suspiciously like those things Mexicans get tattooed on their chests. (What? I can use that joke. My dog is Mexican.)
Well, what a coincidence. The bible has a passage (Col 5:17) which claims, metaphorically, that Jesus binds all things together. And here’s a protein in our bodies that does just that… and it totally resembles the thing he died on. It’s a miracle! Jesus is real and gayness is an abomination. Hallelujah.
Don’t pop that cork yet, Christians. Unfortunately the Argument from Microscopic Proteins that Look Kinda Like the Thing Jesus Was Nailed To totally fails.
First of all, this isn’t what they look like. This is a graphical representation of a laminin glycoprotein, used to simplify the layout for the purpose of analysis and illustration.
In reality, laminins look like this.
Sure, some of those might look vaguely like crosses. Others look like the Greek letter psi. Some look like ray guns. But it’s quite clear that the cross shape was merely a useful way for scientists to represent the makeup of these proteins, and was in no way a statement on how they occur in nature.
Second, take a closer look at that graphical representation. Notice the helix pattern on the bottom leg of the purported “cross.” Last I checked, the Christian cross didn’t include said helix. Actually, the more I look at it, the more it looks like…
Zounds! It’s a caduceus!
Most of you probably know this as the “medical symbol.” But its origin is the Staff of Hermes. Hermes, for those in the know, is the Greek messenger of the gods. This was the staff he carried.
Clearly this means the Greek gods are real. Not the Hebrew gods.
Obviously, no Christian would accept this reasoning in support of the Greek gods. So why would they actually try using a graphical representation of one particular protein in the human body as support for their god?
The answer is simple. They have no real evidence. If they did, they wouldn’t have to make these desperate attempts to rationally justify simple pariedolia as proof of their deity.
What a major fail. This is what happens when irrational people open science books.