Doug Giles: a Living Empirical Proof of Poe’s Law

There are three things that always make me laugh: (1) the limo scene from The Big Lebowski, (2) animals driving vehicles, and (3) fundamentalist Christianity.

Doug Giles certainly falls into the latter category.

Odds are you haven’t heard of this Doug Giles character. He’s not very popular outside of Miami. Actually, he’s not very popular in Miami either, but that’s neither here nor there. Doug is the senior pastor of Clash Church, the star of Clash Radio, and the proud owner of a delusional fantasy world that he lives in with his imaginary dad from space who helped a king named David circumcise 200 Philistines. (And he’s endorsed by Ted Nugent, who’s totally known for his intellectual prowess)

Seriously. You should check out Clash Radio’s YouTube channel. I’m not even joking. You don’t even have to worry about accidentally getting sucked into his conservative cult, because the stuff he says is so laugh-worthy it borders on self-parody.

After watching a few videos of his, you’ll quickly find out that Doug is one of those delightfully vocal religious teabaggers who is convinced that anything not rooted in his magic book of fairy tales is part of an elaborate atheist, leftist, socialist, anti-Christian conspiracy. A plot to transform America into a heathen dictatorship where Big Brother raises your kids to kill their newborns and sodomize each other. (This might be a slight exaggeration)

No evidence of this is ever presented of course. Just a few overextended metaphors, blatant mis-characterizations and flippant comparisons to the Third Reich. But see, the real evidence is all swept under the rug. It’s all part of the conspiracy, man.

Essentially, the guy is a misogynistic, homophobic, Islamophobic, conspiracy-theory-slinging theocrat with a cigar. All the ingredients of comedy gold, incidentally.

Take this recent diatribe over at townhall.net, where he viciously attacks an obvious straw man.

Given Islam’s enslavement of women and the Sharia erection of the Cordoba Initiative’s chief con man, Abdul Rauf, you’d think N.O.W. and their ilk would now be raising more Cain about this Ground Zero Mosque than they are about Sarah Palin.

Why should one think this? Well, it’s principally because Sharia kind of sha-whizzes on hard-won women’s rights, that’s sha-why. Duh. Yet we’re not hearing a whole heck of a lot from the fiery feminists regarding this Ground Zero affront and what it could entail for the girls among us. Yep, we’re hearing crickets from the virulent vixens of the lovely Left who vie for women’s rights.

This would be a reasonable argument, if this Sharia infiltration into American culture were happening anywhere outside of the deep, dark, unexamined chasms of Doug Giles’ own imagination.

I don’t think anyone has explained to Doug that the US and the UK are two different countries. Okay, I understand that they’re one letter off, but they’re very different from each other in so many aspects: culturally, economically, religiously, constitutionally, etc. Just because they allow Sharia courts (only in certain instances, mind you) doesn’t mean that our government would do the same.

The Cordoba House is not a Sharia court. It’s a community center. See, we reasonable people kinda have this annoying little tick of asking for real evidence when someone makes a claim like that. It frustrating, I know. But them’s the rules.

True, Sharia Law deals women a pretty bad hand. Probably about the worst hand possible. But to suggest that feminist criticism is misplaced because of an imaginary cultural threat is pretty stupid.

The lesser of two evils is still evil. And since the “greater evil” isn’t at all a realistic threat here in America, feminists are completely justified in criticizing a woman who doesn’t believe women have the right to choose when they give birth, and who thinks we should lie to kids about sex.

So yea. Doug Giles. The very embodiment of Poe’s Law.

I’d be laughing a lot harder if he weren’t totally serious.

One thought on “Doug Giles: a Living Empirical Proof of Poe’s Law

  1. Pingback: Satire Has Nothing on Actual Right-Wing Publications | Cryptic Philosopher

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