Below, making a guest appearance on Glenn Beck’s ridiculous shit-storm of a show, is Rabbi Daniel Lapin.
You don’t have to bother watching it if you have better things to do. I’ll just sum up his main point; namely…
“I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense that they are benefiting from everything that religious culture has built in America, but they’re doing nothing to add energy into the system.”
Okay, okay. I understand that this guy is just a fringe idiot with a backwards view of history. We all know that the “religious culture” has “built” just as much fear, bigotry and hatred as it has anything else even remotely constructive. So I’m more than inclined to simply file Rabbi Douchebag alongside all the other non-influential fringe a-holes.
But when his stupidity inspires someone to create a blog devoted to so-called “atheist parasites,” it is quite a site to behold. In a truly laughable way.
Upon clickage, you’ll quickly find that it’s difficult to tell whether or not this is intended as satire.
The Mark Twain parasite was first discovered by researchers in 1835, and may have had some connection to the arrival of Halley’s Comet (which occurred that same year).
This insidious bug has since infected American literature with such maladies as Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter of which has been considered by many of the infected to be the “Great American novel.”
This parasite infects those who read its literature, and can propagate by inspiring some of its hosts to attempt writing their own novels and short stories, which in turn can be used to infect others.
AVOIDING THE MARK TWAIN PARASITE: This parasite infects any hosts that dare to read its novels, wit, and wisdom, therefore it is best to avoid any American literature written after 1865 (the year of The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, which was the first recorded Twain outbreak). To keep your children from being infected, insist that their school exclude them from any classes on literature.
To be extra safe, avoid books and libraries altogether.
See what I mean?
To accept this blog as non-satirical, I would have to believe that there is at least one person out there with an internet connection, who not only thinks that Mark Twain has done nothing to contribute to American culture, but also thinks that excluding Huck Finn from the classroom is a good plan of action for neutralizing this “threat.”
In fact, we should “avoid books altogether”! Because reading will only cause you to become another despicable, educated atheist. Take it from me… it’s true.
Seriously, I need to know if this is fake. Anyone?