Sick, Sad Romance

Hello, humans.

Here’s a concept I’ve been chewing on for the past few weeks. Holler if this has ever crossed your mind.

Why is our species, homo sapiens sapiens, so goddamned obsessed with being in a “good” relationship, as if “good” and “relationship” are two words that can be reasonably placed alongside each other?

Perhaps that sounds pessimistic. Okay, you know what… it’s pessimistic. I’ll give you that. But what is pessimism, but realism for people with cojones?

Maybe it’s not the “good relationship” part that seems so naive to me. There are definitely relationships out there that might meet some quasi-objective standard of “good.” Or at the very least, “functional.” I think what strikes me most about our species’ attitude toward mating is the expectation of a happy ending.

Cause, really, what relationship has, or will ever have, a happy ending? None of them.

The best way a relationship can possibly end, is in death. Someone is ending up alone, with nothing to fill the void but a lifetime of memories, a shoebox full of memorabilia, and a closet full of clothes that still have “their smell.” And you don’t know who’s luckier, the one that survives or the one that doesn’t have to spend every single day missing the one that doesn’t survive.

That’s what most of us are looking for. Actively.

And I don’t care if you’re religious, or a baby-eating heathen like me. We’re all on the same cosmic, organic spaceship here. Even if you believe in an afterlife, it doesn’t change our current situation.

We want families. No one has any idea why, but every single thing we do is part of an elaborate scheme concocted by our genes in their effort to replicate. And somewhere along the line, we got the idea that things are supposed to end well. That you’ll find that one person out of a sample size of 6 billion, and everything will be okay.

But ultimately, it won’t.

So my advice to you, however unwarranted or officious it may be, it that if you’re happy, enjoy being happy, and if you’re not happy, get happy. But don’t be the idiot that expects it to last forever.

To paraphrase Mel Brooks, if 100% of all relationships end badly, what chance have I got?

Practically none.

3 thoughts on “Sick, Sad Romance

  1. The third message from heaven…

    If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand, The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

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