The Black Jeezus Rises

Howdy, humans.

Yes, I realize it’s been a while. I think a few updates are in order, no?

First off, you may or may not be pleased to know that I am, in fact, alive and well. And aside from some allergies and intermittent bronchitis, I’m in tip-top health. My absence from the ol’ wordpress was due more to a change in attitude than anything else. I’m still very much an atheist, but I no longer have the desire to vent my frustrations online. Why? Well, your guess is as good as mine. I suppose one might say I’ve “matured,” though I’m not sure that’s the word I’d use, given the fact that I still inspect all of my poops before flushing to see if they look like any celebrities.

I’ve mentioned that before on this blog, haven’t I? No? Shit.

Anyway, I haven’t abandoned writing either. Just blogging. For those curious, I finished the first drafts of a ten-episode comedy-drama series (I refuse to use the word “dramedy”), and am in the process of constructing a different, much more time-consuming black comedy / crime drama series. It’s hard, frustrating work, trying to write something that you’re happy with. But until they discover a way to be a writer without actually having to write anything, I guess I’m doomed to a life of constant disappointment and dissatisfaction. Kinda like Miami Dolphins fans. Only with less alcoholism.

Furthermore, some of you may or may not be pleased to know that I decided to give the whole “love” thing another go. Put my cards back on the table and let the chips fall where they may and whatnot (I may be mixing my analogies here). And wouldn’t you know it, I nabbed quite hefty jackpot. By the way, I mean “hefty” in the sense that she’s awesome, not “hefty” in the sense that she has a problem with girth. Anyway, I met her on the internet (which I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who is growing increasing frustrated with the matches in their own social circle), and we’ve been doing pretty well. She’s really something. Motivated in ways I’m not. Beautiful in ways I could never even hope to be. Sensible in ways that always escape me. And her cat is okay too. By the way, I mean “cat” as in a literal cat, not “cat” as in a euphemism for vagina. I know it’s cliche, but I feel those familiar tingles and jingles in my abdomen when I’m with her. I missed those. It’s like being in high school again. Only with less alcoholism.

Now that that’s out of the way, onto the blog. I almost considered taking it down, but upon intense reflection (not really… it was more like three minutes of thought while on the john, pinching out a sewer trout that looked like Judd Hersch), I’ve decided to keep the blog up and running. I’ve even decided to try to write a little more often. But definitely not the same subject matter as before.

So in summation, if you like my writing style, but didn’t much care for the subject matter, you’re in luck. You’ll still be getting the pure, raw Black Jeezus wit, but without the annoying filler.

So stop sending me e-mails already.